Abusive Relationships: A Guide for Teens

Abusive or Violent Relationships:

A Guide for Teens

Establishing relationships with friends, family members, or a significant other is big part of moving from childhood into adolescence and adulthood. Unfortunately, some people may find themselves in a relationship that involves abuse or violence. This guide offers some helpful information on identifying an abusive relationship and how to get help for yourself or a friend.

What is an abusive relationship?

Abuse in a relationship can be both physical and emotional. Remember that emotional harm and the stress it causes can be just as damaging as physical abuse. Some signs of abusive relationships include:

someone threatening or hurting you physically or emotionally
someone harming your possessions or people who are important to you
fearing for your safety caused by a partner, co-worker, someone at school, or another adult
someone making you feel worthless or bad about yourself
feeling the need to protect yourself by threatening or harming others, their possessions, or by making others feel bad about themselves

If you or your partner do any of these things, it is time to get help because this pattern is hard to stop. You will be much better off in a relationship without abuse! You deserve to treat others and be treated with respect.

How can I get help?

If you are in an abusive relationship, you should talk to an adult you trust, or call a domestic abuse hotline. If you break up with your partner and fear that he/she may come after you, stay at a safe place where he/she can't contact you. You can talk to the police about what you can do to legally protect yourself from abuse.

If someone is harming you or threatening you at home, school, work, or anywhere else - get help. Talk to your doctor, guidance counselor or other trusted adult. These people can help you with your concerns. If you ever feel that you are in danger, call 911 and explain your situation.

If you are abusing anyone (or even thinking about it) - get help. You may not understand what makes you feel angry or violent and probably wish you could stop. You may be worried about other people knowing you have a problem. If you feel you have trouble controlling your temper, there is help available. Talk to your health care provider, a counselor, or a trusted adult who can help you find the help you need.

There may be local resources in your community that you can call. Here are some national hotlines that you can call 24 hours a day to get help and advice.

National Teen Dating Abuse Helpline: 1-866-331-9474

The National Domestic Violence Hotline: 1-800-799-SAFE (7233)
The National Sexual Assault Hotline: 1-800-656-HOPE (4673)

The Youth Crisis Hotline: 1-800-HIT-HOME (448-4663)

Other organizations that can help include:

Break the Cycle
Men Can Stop Rape

National Latino Alliance for the Elimination of Domestic Violence

Written by the CYWH and YMH Staff

Updated: 6.2.2008

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