Printer FriendlyDating Violence:
Healthy Relationships vs. Abusive Relationships
Healthy vs. Abusive RelationshipsWhat makes a healthy relationship?
- You and the person you are dating feel good about each other and yourselves.
- You do activities together, such as going to movies, playing sports, or hanging out with other friends.
- There is respect and honesty. You both listen to each other's thoughts and feelings. Even if you argue or disagree sometimes, you can talk things out and reach a compromise that works for both of you.
- You accept each other's right to say "no" or change your mind, without giving each other a hard time.
- You understand that it's important for both of you to stay involved with the activities and interests you enjoyed before you became close, because you both need time to hang out with other friends, as well as time for yourselves.
Why do some people stay in unhealthy or violent relationships?
It can be hard to get out of a violent relationship - you can't just turn off your feelings for someone you care about. Also, violent relationships often go in cycles. After a person is abusive, they may be extra nice and apologetic, and promise never to do it again. It may be a while before they act violently again.
Other reasons it can be hard to get out of an abusive relationship include:
- You may be ashamed to admit you are in an abusive relationship
- You may be scared to be without that person
- You may be scared that your friend or partner will hurt you or hurt themselves more if you tell someone
People who are abused often believe that if they are nice enough, or behave well enough, their girlfriend or boyfriend will stop being violent - NOT TRUE. Abuse is not your fault, so changing your behavior won't stop it. Whatever the reasons, leaving an unhealthy relationship is hard, and you will likely need help to do it.
Reasons to leave an abusive relationship:
- Abusive relationships are unhealthy emotionally. You may lose your self confidence and find it harder to have other relationships.
- Abusive relationships are physically unhealthy. You can have trouble sleeping, headaches, or stomachaches. You might feel depressed, sad, anxious, or nervous.
- If you're being physically abused, you it's possibly that you may receive injuries that cause permanent damage.
- You deserve to be in a relationship that is healthy and fun!
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Updated: 6/30/2011
