Dating Violence:

How to Help a Friend In an Abusive Relationship

Intro	Healthy vs. Abusive Relationships
What Is Dating Violence?	How to Leave an Abusive Relationship
Dating Violence Quizzes	How to Help a Friend In an Abusive Relationship
How to Stop Being Abusive	Resources

What do I do if a friend tells me that he or she is in an abusive relationship?

• Listen very carefully to what your friend has to say.
• Do not blame or judge your friend. People who are abused have a tendency to blame themselves already.
• Tell your friend you believe what they are saying, and that you know it's not their fault.
• Remind your friend about all the friends and family who care and want them to be safe.
• Tell your friend to tell a parent or other trusted adult right away - offer to help.
• Give your friend information on how to make a safety plan and give them phone numbers of counselors and domestic violence hotlines (see resources).
• Be sure not to take this on alone. Talk with a trusted adult about how to help your friend.

Even if your friend doesn't listen to your advice, don't tell him or her to choose between the abusive partner and you. This will make your friend feel that they can't talk to you. Remember that leaving an abusive relationship is hard and may take several tries.

What else do I need to know?

• At least 1 in 10 teens experience physical violence in their relationships
• Even if abuse (physical, sexual, or emotional) does not affect you, it could be affecting one of your friends
• If you or your friend is in an unhealthy relationship, get help right away before someone gets hurt

Previous

Next: Resources

Written by the YMH Staff at Children's Hospital Boston

Updated: 6/30/2011