Dating Violence:

How to Leave an Abusive Relationship

Intro	Healthy vs. Abusive Relationships
What Is Dating Violence?	How to Leave an Abusive Relationship
Dating Violence Quizzes	How to Help a Friend In an Abusive Relationship
How to Stop Being Abusive	Resources

How do I get out of an unhealthy or abusive relationship?

Some people need help getting out of an unhealthy relationship. They might be afraid of hurting the other person's feelings or making them angry. Talk to a parent, friend, counselor, health care provider, teacher, coach or other trusted person about your relationship. They can help you contact other people (your parents, school security, or even the police) if necessary.

Sometimes leaving an abusive relationship can be dangerous, because your partner may try to stop you from leaving. It will be a lot easier and safer if you make and stick to a safety plan.

Here are some tips on making your safety plan:

• Tell a trusted adult.
• Tell the person who is abusing you that you don't want to see them. Do this over the phone so they can't touch you, or with your parents/guardians at home so you know you'll be safe in your house.
• Keep track of any violence. This will be important if you need the court to issue a restraining order against the person. It will also be a useful reminder to you of why you are leaving the relationship.
• Avoid any contact with the person.
• Call 911 right away if you're ever afraid that the person is following you or is going to hurt you.
• Keep domestic violence hotline numbers (see resources) in your wallet or store them in your cell phone.

If you're concerned for your safety and worried that your boyfriend/girlfriend may hurt you, there are many ways to get help.

You can:

• Call 911
• Talk to a parent/guardian, health care provider, teacher, guidance counselor, or other trusted adult
• Call a dating violence hotline

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Next: How to Help a Friend In an Abusive Relationship

Written by the YMH Staff at Children's Hospital Boston

Updated: 6/30/2011